Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
