I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
