I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize