I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
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It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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