Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
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any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
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The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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