Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
