used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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