I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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