My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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