Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
