i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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