glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
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Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
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