I bet he comes in French.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Are we still banned from the library?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
