Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
