Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
