bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
