38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize