I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
