Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
