before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
