Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
