I want to make a zoo with you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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