We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
