so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
