with your own penis?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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