is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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