i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
