well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
