Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
