somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
