I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
