I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
