i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
