How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
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And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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