He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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