no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
