I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
