Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
