You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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