You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sober January is a disaster.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
