I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
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She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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