PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
