just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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