Michael Bay diarrhea
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
wow bdsm is so cute
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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