Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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