is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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