It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
