why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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