every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you never un-have a 4some
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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