I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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