We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
