how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize