Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
