it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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