a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
