i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
