The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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