I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
