Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
