ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize