the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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