After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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