Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
