I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
